Three Sticks — Personal Development for Christians

My pastor recently delivered a sermon where he argued that life and ministry are inseparable. This really registered with me and seemed to validate what I had written in the My Ministry Series. As is often the case when you are facing struggles your in life God will send messenger to deliver a word of encouragement or guidance if you will be still and let yourself hear. My current struggle is in realigning my life to support my ministry.

I made the claim in My Ministry: Part 2 – Purpose, that my purpose in life is to empower, teach and heal others. I feel this deeply. It resonates with me on a very primal level. At the moment, however I am facing a bit of quandary. Over the last 6 months, I have raised my level of awareness through therapy, meditation, prayer and God’s word. In that time I’ve come to understand who I was, who I am and who I am becoming.

It is a truly powerful thing to understand yourself. I have found that I am very motivated to push into my new way of being. Unfortunately, such a transition requires that I make some fundamental adjustments to my life. For the last, 16 years I have been a technologist. I worked in a number of different IT organizations designing and building systems and working with businesses to ensure that their technology acquisitions actually supported their businesses. Like many people, I created a significant earning potential but little true fulfillment because of the lack of alignment with my purpose. Now that I have found my purpose, I have to align my life so that it supports my purpose.

I have some fundamental questions. For example, can I still work in IT at least temporarily to pay the bills and still maintain integrity with myself? By integrity, I mean will my thoughts and actions adhere to my values and purpose. Do I need to consider giving up my possessions such as my house in order to minimize my expenses so that I may more freely pursue my purpose?

I am beginning to understand that the fundamental question is one of faith. I am having a difficult time with the notion that getting another IT job is in my best interest. I know that I have expenses and such and that my savings is slowly (or not so slowly at times) counting down to zero, and because of that part of me wants to hold on to the notion that I can push myself in 2 different directions and still be successful. I am defining successful here as fulfilling my purpose to the best of my ability.

The questions I’m facing are the same questions that other entrepreneurs face. It’s basically the question of how do you live your life while you’re building the asset that will eventually take care of you. Of course my asset is this the collection of articles at Three Sticks that will, God willing, help someone else in a time of need.

I have 4 major goals that are part of my purpose. These are:

• Build a body of knowledge at Three Sticks;
• Build an online forum to promote racial harmony;
• Obtain a PhD in Historical Sociology;
• Become a successful entrepreneur and teach others how to become one.

Each of these is really an umbrella for a large number of tasks to be completed. I know the path. I now have to walk it. However, I am held back because I’m still struggling with my own doubt and fear.

My delay in launching The Black Community Project is an excellent example of how my fear has detracted from my purpose.

I recently went public with the idea of The Black Community Project. It’s an effort to promote understanding between blacks in America and other races by having black people tell the stories of their lives and what it means to be black in America. It is inspired by South Africa’s Truth and Reconciliation Commission. I have had the idea for more than a year and I have not yet put site together or started to think seriously about how I would make it work. All I have right now is a domain name and an under construction sign.

Part of the reason for the most recent delay is my current effort to get another job to help pay the bills. I’ve had some successful interviews and I have found some excellent organizations, but I’m not certain that they are right for me. The effort to get another job is based on the fear that come May 1, 2007, I will be out of funds and on the street. I realize that that fear is what is holding me back from accomplishing my goals. I also know that my faith in God is what will get me through.

I have experienced some setbacks in my personal life and in obtaining the goals I listed earlier. It is in these moments that our faith becomes so important. I know that I have to let go and let God be my guiding star. Although I constantly thank him for his divine intervention in my works, I sometimes get trapped into thinking that my efforts are the critical dependency when it is his involvement that makes all the difference.

I have made some mistakes in dealing with my fear. I frequently rely too much on the advice and thoughts of others. The problem in relying on advice from others is that they are limited by their own experiences and often their own concerns and fears manifest themselves in the advice you are receiving. This only complicates dealing with your own fear because now you’ve added the worries and concerns of someone else to your own fears. This has the effect of magnifying fear in your mind and in your heart.

Another mistake I made was my unwillingness to let go of my preconceived notion of what I should be focusing on. Several months ago, I had my primary focus on Miles Ahead and SafetyNet. Now my focus is on my purpose and since I made the shift, I have been more productive and happier than I have been in a long time.

As I reviewed my notes from my pastor’s sermon, I was drawn to the point where he outlined 3 steps that what we must undertake in order to have a dynamic life and ministry. These steps are

• Fears must be subsided;
• Forsake your stuff;
• Follow the savior.

I know that to apply this to my life I must let go of my fear, be willing to give up my material success and have faith in the Lord. Although, Pastor Oliver’s sermon was based on Luke 5:1 – 11, Mark 10:25 immediately comes to mind, (Jesus speaking) “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than it is for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.” I know that I must be willing to give up everything in order to save my life (Mark 8:35). I am going to let go, be obedient and do the task before me and in doing so put my trust in him that the rest will work itself out in the manner in which he intends.

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